Motherhood has not been easy for me. I love being a mama, more than anything. But if I am to be completely honest, it has not come easy for me most days. I have three small children under the age of five and each day I am stretched to my breaking point only to snap back to a place of grounding by an unexpected embrace, a proclamation of love, or the amazement over some new milestone. Life with children is chaotic, and in the chaos we can either lose ourselves, or we can find ourselves. I choose to use the chaos as a teacher, as a place to practice mindfulness and grounding.
As a mother I have made friends with my shadow, the parts of myself I denied in my single days in order to present a perfect, more polished self to the world. As a mother, that more polished self has become, well, muddied. I am flawed. I get stressed out and impatient, I forget to take care of myself and I am almost always late getting my children to school. But in the chaos I have found peace, for I have found all of my pieces, shadow and all. Becoming a mother has made me whole and each day it provides me a rich experience in which to practice finding myself in the midst of chaos.
"May we exist like a lotus,
At home in the muddy water,
Thus we bow to life as it is."
My hopes for this blog is that it is a safe place for all mothers to come, to be beautifully flawed, and to share honestly about the chaos and challenges of motherhood as well as to celebrate it's joy and self-discovery. You are all welcome here and I hope you will stand with me to create a mindful community of women growing through this wild and wonderful (and sometimes messy) journey of motherhood.